Are you the one who can always be depended upon to help out?
- Chair the committee? Okay.
- House sit for your neighbor? Okay.
- Teach the class? Okay.
- Walk my dog? Raise the money? Get the coffee? Clean up the mess? Plan the convention? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes!
Tired? Exhausted? Not Enough Time in Your Day?
Do you see a connection here? Psychologist, Harriet Braiker likes to call it, “The disease to please”. She feels it is a form of addiction. Just as a drug addict seeks drugs, a people pleaser seeks approval. If you disagree or even agree with her but have “hit bottom” and want to end this addiction, I have an exercise you can’t pass up.
Do You Want to Feel a Thrill?
Come on, I know you do. Try this…The next time someone asks you to do something that you would really rather not do, just say “No” and walk away! No apologies, no reasons, just “No”, turn and walk away; the “asker” will be so stunned, it will take a second for him to respond and by that time, you should be out the door. (Just like a movie moment)
Skip right over “feeling normal” and jump to “feeling happy” for the first time in a long while. You know why? Studies show that the majority of people who are genuinely happy feel like they have significant control of their lives. As a natural “caregiver” and “people-pleaser”, you constantly accept responsibility for cleaning up after others and helping them through their problems. But as soon as their problems become your problems, you have lost control of another chunk of your most valuable asset, your time. This is a depreciating asset, once it is gone, you can never get it back. One of the ways to take control of your time asset is to stop giving it away so easily.
Take Control; Be Happy! And let me know how good it feels.