We all have our little routines, ruts and boring habits.We accept them because they generally fall into our comfort zone and might help us through our daily chores.You probably take the same route into work every day because it is efficient, and you don’t really have to think about it.I personally think that any rut we fall into promotes a dullness in our brain.
So, you are in a long term relationship and have settled into a regular love making session with your partner.It is comfortable and you both leave the bedroom satisfied.Wow. Sound as exciting as having Thanksgiving dinner in a school cafeteria.Even if that is okay with you, how long can it be until you or your partner get restless or bored?If you want to keep the sexual desire burning brightly, you have to nurture your passion for each other.This may come naturally to you or you may have to put forth a little more effort.Growing prize winning orchids may take more effort than great roses but either one will whither and die without the proper amount of light & water, food & trimming.The same is true in your sex life.Here are some ideas to help keep the spark alive.
1. Change your routine! I know we are not teenagers but when was the last time you made love on the living room floor or couch? How about outside or in the car? You probably have a routine pattern that you go through once you are in bed with your partner.When you feel yourself starting this ritual, stop, make a little change. If you are healthy and have sex two or three times a week, every session doesn’t have to be different. Sometimes a spontaneous caveman “quickie” can be exciting to you and your partner but don’t make it a habit.
2. Make time for your encounters. We are all very busy and never seem to have the time we want to do anything for ourselves.If you have to, schedule time for your love making like a date or business meeting.Allow time to wind down.Take a shower or bubble bath with your partner or exchange massages before having sex. In addition to giving you time to relax, your anticipation has time to build.
3. Speaking of anticipation…Your sexual excitement begins in your brain. If you have a “date” tonight, start to build some excitement in the morning. Put on a different perfume or cologne.Wear your sexy underwear.If you live with your partner, put a love note in their lunch box or purse, bring their coffee to them in the bathroom while they get ready for breakfast. Do one of your partner’s normal morning chores for them (make the bed, take out the trash, etc.) Don’t forget to give them a very passionate goodbye kiss.
4. Take it slow.Passion doesn’t have to be the rip-off the clothes throw you against the wall type of lovemaking you sometimes see in the movies.Again, change your routine.Play footsies at the dinner table, both of you wash the dishes ? topless, slowly undress your partner, kissing and touching them lightly without grabbing and groping.After showering, massaged her feet or give his temples and jaws a relaxing rub.Scented candles, music, warmed massage lotions or oils can all add to your building anticipation. Enjoy the journey not just the destination.
5. Try different positions. Granted you might not be as flexible as you once were. Yoga can be a great help in that area. But still, health issues or other physical problems can make your formerly favorite lovemaking positions uncomfortable or even impossible. If arthritis is a problem, try side-to-side positions, which relieve any need to support yourself or accommodate your partner’s weight. Sitting positions let you vary the depth of penetration while giving you additional support (especially if you place the chair against a wall). If a man has trouble maintaining an erection, he may want to try lying on top of his partner with his legs outside hers so that she can further stimulate his penis by squeezing her thighs together.
6. Enjoy the “afterglow” of lovemaking by holding each other or simply falling asleep together (don’t forget to put out the candles!)One more word of advice,sometimes one partner goes to a lot of effort to prepare a fantastic session only to find out that their partner doesn’t feel good or has a big problem on their mind.The wise person, doesn’t mention anything about the session preparation and simply comforts their partner in a non-sexual loving way.
Of course, entire books have been written on this subject and you can find new tips in most any of them. My best advice is to watch and listen to your partner for clues as to what makes them excited.And of course, stay out of the ruts.